What Marriage is Not

1. Marriage is not a dictatorship. The Bible does not give the husband permission to set up an autocracy in the home. Husbands are not to lord their authority over their family, but exercise it with humility.


2. Headship does not mean that the husband is superior. Men and women have an equal standing before Christ. (see Gal 3:28)


3. Headship does not mean that the husband must make all the decisions. Husbands are told to manage their households. (1 Tim.3:12)


4. Headship does not mean that the husband is always right. It does mean that he is responsible for the decisions that are made.


5. Headship is not to be demanded. Husbands are commanded to love their wives, not to make them submit by lecturing and haranguing them.

Howard Hendricks

Role of Men in Marriage

* Lover

• The command is not to "Love your wife when she submits to you."
• Love that is not conditional but continuous
• A Love that is willing to die for someone - a sacrificial love as Christ loves his church

*Leader

• The Husband is responsible for the Spiritual well-being of his wife (family)
• To present his wife in all her glory as Jesus does his Church.
• To cherish and Nourish his bride
  

Relevant Bible Passages:

1 Peter 3:1-6

¹Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, ²when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ³Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. ⁵For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, ⁶like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Ephesians 5:25-33

²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰for we are members of his body. ³¹"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."^{[b] 32}This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.


Horizon Community Church - Sermon on 12/2/2007