Women Drivers

*My husband forwarded to this me.*


This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman

In a brand new
Cadillac

Doing 75 mph


With her
Face up next to her
rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

for a couple seconds!


And when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane,


still working on that makeup.


As a man,

I don't scare easily.


But she scared me so much

I dropped


My electric shaver,


which knocked

The donut

Out of my other hand.

In all

the confusion of trying

to straighten out the car


using my knees against

the steering wheel,

it knocked


my cell phone


away from my ear,


which fell,

into the coffee
between my legs,


splashed,


and burned


Big Jim and the Twins,


ruined the damn phone,

soaked my trousers,


and disconnected an
important call.


Damn women drivers.